Q: Why do condoms break during sex – is it because they’re too small?

Condoms usually break because they are not used properly!

Here are some practical tips to keep in mind when using condoms:

– Always check the expiration date on the condoms and use them within the recommended time.
– Pay attention that the package has not been broken because this could lead to the dryness of the condom and eventually shorten its time.
– Always take out the condom immediately before you put it on the sex toy or a penis to prevent the same effect (dryness).
– Don’t tear up condom’s pack with your teeth you might damage the condom.
– Never use a condom twice or between different forms of sex (oral, anal and vaginal). On the same note, if there is more than one partner involved, make sure you change your condom for each partner.
– Don’t wear condoms when fooling around and during foreplay, only put on before you have oral, vaginal or anal sex.
– During long courses of penetrative sex, it is wise to change the condom to lessen the chance of breakage.
– Usually condoms with extra strength are recommended for anal intercourse. They should be used with good amount of lubricant; otherwise the dryness and the fraction between the plastic and the body could rupture the condom.
– Always use condom compatible lubricant when using condoms. Using cream, oil-based lubricants and any other products will weaken the latex texture and will make it easier for the condom to break.
– Usually we recommend that men and women practice how to put a condom on. You can practice it on your partner, a dildo or even a banana so that both of you are confident and competent when the time comes to use your skills. This is a common belief that men should carry condoms and know how to use them but more and more women have realized that this is their responsibility as much as a man’s.
– During oral sex, wearing oil-based lipsticks could lessen the life of the condom.
– Some men don’t like to use condoms because they will lose their erections while reaching out to get a condom. This could be avoided by getting their partners involved, so that one can stimulate the penis and the other person puts the condom on.

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Q: My desire to have sex changes with my cycle and stress level. How do I make my partner understand this? I don’t want him to feel like I’m not interested in him if I’m not interested in sex.

Women’s sexual response is proved to be different than men’s. This means that hormonal as well as environmental and relational factors can affect a woman’s desire for sex, arousal and orgasm more than they do for a man. This is not to say men are better or women are better, this is just a piece of knowledge, worth having.

The key to a successful sexual relationship is to be honest, know what you want, ask for it and appreciate the fact that you received what you asked for. I suggest you have a talk with your partner and explain this to him-preferably before he approaches you for sex and you reject his attempt. Help him to share his thoughts with you too. He might not even be bothered with all of these. You don’t have to take pleasure from sex mutually all the times. Sometimes when you are not in the mood you can help him to satisfy his sexual urges/wants and other times he might be tired or doesn’t want or can’t put effort to have a full on sex, on those times he can help you to experience orgasm via masturbation or the use of sex toys which then means that you are close to one another, the person who desired to be sexual got what they wanted and the person who is not in the mood is not forced to engage in something that he/she doesn’t want to at that moment of time.

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Around the World in 80 Orgasms

I am working on a new project “Around the World in 80 Orgasms” with talented documentary film-maker Emma George. “This is a very exciting and ambitious project focusing on Orgasm and its meaning across various cultures and religions around the world. I am thrilled to be a part of it!”

Watch the trailer below!

You can also find the trailer here or at orgasms.com.

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Visit to Musee de l’Erotisme in Paris, July 2011

The museum is located in the “red-light district”. You can’t tell it is a museum of any sort from out side but when you walk in you are immediately impressed by a range of historic objects, original erotic movies from 16th century and art works from contemporary artists. Certain pieces that stood out to me were everyday objects depicted in erotic forms (such as chairs, a nut cracker and an envelop opener) as well as objects showing the admiration through out history for phallus and it was linked with power and good luck for many communities around the world. There were also several contemporary art crafts that teased the link between religion and sexuality which I found very clever. Overall, I would say it was worth visiting.

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