My office is packed around Valentines Day. I get clients who feel pressured to act a certain way, do a certain gesture or buy a certain gift. I often hear the words anxious and disappointment. Why such despair on a day created to celebrate love? Love for a partner, love for oneself, love for our family or pets…
Here are some tips that do not involve buying, waiting in lines or having to call restaurant after restaurant to find a free table to reserve. Rather than striving for a night of a one-night-only gift, create meaningful memories to utilize in the future with your current or future relationships.
Smell: There is not one specific smell or scent that will take your Valentines Day (or relationship) to the heights. Sometimes something different (exactly what we’ve always had) is all we need! If you usually wear perfume, try to go all-natural, let your partner smell the real you. Or perhaps try on a scent that you love and let your partner share the experience with you. Natural oils and ointments can go a long way as well, whether used for massaging yourself, your loved one or just lighting a scented candle in the house. Whatever it is that you decide to do, just do it- without thinking about a particular outcome or expecting a favour in return. You might want to stay away from baby oils and powder as they will bring about parental intuition which usually does not have the strongest bond with your sexy self.
Touch: Our skin is our largest organ, and holds great powers when it comes to sensuality, sexuality, sharing and caressing. Why not explore new forms of touch or kissing? How about new fabrics, or your favourite fabrics. We all have that one favourite cozy blanket or soft silky sheets that we would like to spend more time with… Exploring new forms of pleasuring the skin, whether with a partner or solo, will give you tools to use in the future, not just on Valentines Day.
Let your imagination create a tasteful, considerate atmosphere rather than a commercially-driven one.
Sight: No new lingerie, no decorations, just your true self! Let yourself and/or your partner see the real you, fresh out of the shower, or just in your natural element. Natural does not mean messy or not groomed, it just means that you are yourself. Feel and show love for the body that makes your life on this planet possible. You might want to even take away sight all together with blindfolds, focus on everything else. In the absence of one sense, others will be heightened specially hearing. Try listening to sensational, erotic or thought provocative audios, with your significant other, share stories, fantasies, whispers of poems and more.
Hearing: Music is a beautiful opportunity to find the words, tunes and rhythms that will represent your feelings if you’re one to not write a poem from scratch or a romantic tune to play on your guitar. Find a song or lyrics that reflect how you feel towards a situation or a feeling, read them in your private time, to your partner or chosen friend.
Taste: There is plenty to taste on Valentines Day! A partners lips is the one mostly promoted but how about a mindful experience with a choice of food or drink. Taste is closely related to our other senses specially sight and smell. Try to see how you can eat and feel through each of these senses and the involvement of mixture of them.
Let your imagination create a tasteful, considerate atmosphere rather than a commercially-driven one. Where the first one will be a memory to go to and the second, a memory to escape from!
It is important to get out and express yourself and to be a part of a larger movement for a greater good. However, acknowledge that every individual also needs to practice self-care to reassure their physical and mental well-being. This is not only necessary for you but also critical to magnify our message that women (and their supporters) are strong and will remain so. Each and every one of us are coming into this from our own place of operation and being. Here are my offerings as a social and mental health advocate:
We are stronger together!
1. Many of you traveled to take part in the march from elsewhere so you might not have immediate social support. join a group (if you don’t know of one, just get out there and form one right before the march starts), even a small one so that you have a support group around you for any unpredicted need.
2. Stick together in your smaller group while being a part of the bigger movement.
3. Within that small group reiterate your goals for this march, your role and your boundaries.
4. Take part with all your being and proud however, know your boundaries and monitor your emotions. You are voicing the unheard, therefore at times the power that comes over you might become a little too much to emotionally handle.
4- Drink water. Have something simple to nibble on if needed. Emotional times affect your blood pressure and sugar level.
With compassion and solidarity,
Dear Colleagues, I am delighted to let you know about the #sponsorship opportunities for the upcoming World Congress on Sexual Health in Prague (May, 2017). Please see attached and let us know of your interest, questions and more…If you are interested in a form of sponsorship that is not mentioned here please write to me to discuss. There is always a way to be a part of a great cause!
In the light of Lelo’s efforts in brining a more appealing condom to the market, I was invited to join a panel of experts to share our take on “what is the problem with the existing condoms”. You can read the entire article here at Volonte.