Sex & Relationship Consulting
This page is intended to give you a better idea about the process of sex and relationship consulting and make it an easier task for you to decide if this is the best approach for you.
Issues that my clients need help with range from dating advice (e.g. how to find their right match, how to connect to the person they like and how to best express themselves), relationship advice (e.g. how to stop arguing and start talking, how to create balance between a demanding job and a fulfilling relationship and how to manage expectations), Sex advice (e.g. how to overcome relational, emotional and physical issues, how to communicate what they want in a non-threatening way and what is ‘normal’ and what is not).
Initial Consultation: This is the first face-to-face consultation that you individually or together with your partner will have with me. It takes about 120 minutes where you will describe your concern(s) in detail. I will ask you specific questions and at the end of the session, together we will set realistic goals for the process of our work and decide what path is the best way forward.
Individual & Couples Consultations: Ongoing consultations are scheduled at the beginning of each month. They will be on a weekly basis to begin with and take 50 minutes each. You can come to the sessions together as a couple or individually, depending on how it suits your program. We will review your progress every six sessions. After you achieved your goals, you will arrange for appointments every other week, then once a month, once every two months, and so on. After that, you can book for ad hoc sessions as boosters! Your commitment to the process and the homework you are assigned to, determines your level of success.
Confidentiality: The content of the sessions will be kept confidential unless harm to yourself or a third party is evident. You will be informed before any information discussed with anyone else.
Note: I am an Accredited Psychosexual Therapist by The College of Sex and Relationship Therapy (COSRT) in Britain and a Certified Sexuality Counselor by American Association for Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). I am not licensed as a mental health practitioner. I practice within the scope of sex and relationship coaching and don’t work with insurances.
What my Clients Have to Say
I had the pleasure of working with Clara and Gabriel* a few years ago. Yes, we are still in touch, similar to many of my previous clients who keep me in the loop with their lives and ask for ad hoc tips!
I think it is fair to say that like many other couples, when Clara and Gabriel walked into my office, they were already at a crisis point. When I explained how I work with them and clarified that I would not be there to “glue” them back together and would just help them see things differently to decide for themselves, they were taken a back by it and went quiet. Later they told me, they were not expecting that, but although this scared them initially, it was a sense of relief too. Relief that they could commit to the process without feeling stuck or being pushed towards a certain direction.
I was the third person they were trying. They had tried couple’s therapy and sex therapy separately but this time they wanted to try a lighter combination of the two: “sex and relationship coaching.”
When I asked them to share their experience with other people who might be thinking about engaging in similar process, they kindly accepted. Here is what they want you to know:
We had been having problems, fighting and arguing. Couple’s therapy wasn’t really working but when we met Sara and she introduced elements of both relationship and sex coaching, I felt we are moving somewhere. We were unlucky the first two times round so having a third counselor who was helpful, non-judgmental, positive with a constructive advice restored my trust.
Sara was a true coach. [She] gave me also inspiration for future once problems were overcome in order to maintain good and healthy relationship ‘in the kitchen and in the bedroom’. It wasn’t always easy, but the end result was worth it. The process did not cure my issues overnight but it helped me to be aware of how to see things more calmly and clearly. Now I can say, it was the best thing to happen to us! We learned about each other, we learned about ourselves, and we learned about relationships in general. It was difficult, and frightening at times. We worked through a lot of what was going on for us, and we’re better off for having been in couple’s therapy alone. Now we have a little boy and future does not seems daunting any more. We have some useful tools from Sara.
It seemed as though we were spending more time angry with one another than happy together. Looking back, I know now that I was being self-righteous and seeing Clara as the problem. For example, I would focus on how she said things and getting uppity about that. Sara coached past that to listen to what Clara was actually saying and really respond to that, rather than making a knee-jerk response.
Sara helped me to look at my own behavior and understand how I was creating my own rut and then getting stuck in it. Her guidance helped me unlearn some of my worst habits, and really connect with Clara instead.
I think going to her saved our relationship. We’re now very happy together and the proud parents of a wonderful son, conceived and born since our time with Sara.
*As you might have guessed, Clara and Gabriel are the pseudo-names that my couple chose for their testimony.