Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
Creating World Peace | One Relationship at a Time
Author, Speaker, Thinking Partner
I am fascinated by the way connections work. I am most passionate about exploring how they lead to meaningful and fulfilling relationships, the way they help us grow, how they contribute to our awareness of self and others, and how all of these could be seen similarly and differently across relationships, cultures and organizations.
Love by Design | 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love
True love should give your heart a break, not a heartbreak!
Recipient of the 2025 Clark Vincent Award from the California Association for Marriage and Family Therapists for significant advances in the field of relational science.
As I am sure you know, the quality of our relationships profoundly shapes the quality of our lives. How we navigate one relationship often reflects how we approach all relationships. Yet, unlike financial or career planning—where clear strategies guide our decisions—we often leave love to chance and luck. But we don’t have to.
In my research and practice for over 2 decades across 41 countries, I’ve identified 8 common relational configurations that reveal how couples connect, and I’ve developed a groundbreaking model of love called the Emergent Love Model. This framework is built on 6 essential ingredients for thriving and lasting relationships: mutual attraction, trust, compassion, respect, shared vision, and loving behavior. These aren’t just buzzwords; they’re actionable, research-driven elements that form the foundation of lasting, fulfilling connections.
Ready to design the loving relationship you desire and deserve? Get your copy of Love by Design today, wherever you buy your books, Kindles, and audiobooks around the world!
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Let’s talk about motivation as we step into this new year.
If you have no fears at all, that is not courage, it is disconnection.
Fear is not the enemy. Fear has direction. It points to what matters.
The problem is not that we feel fear, it is that we listen to the wrong ones.
Some fears shrink us and keep us stuck.
Others are meant to mobilize us, to clarify our values, to call us into action.
This year, instead of trying to be fearless, ask yourself:
Which fears deserve my attention, and which ones need to be gently released?
I explore this more in The Common Ground on Substack, with practical ways to choose fears that move you forward rather than freeze you in place.
Link in my bio.
#Lifebydesign #fear #chooseyourfear #love #lovebydesignbook #relationships #connection #thecommongroundbydrsara #substack
Sometimes wisdom shows up in the simplest places.
In @disneyzootopia_official the snake pauses before a hug and asks,
“Permission to hug?”
It is tender, playful, and such a powerful reminder.
Touch is not automatic. It carries history, meaning, and emotion.
Consent is not only about safety, it is about dignity, presence, and feeling seen.
How many of us ask? Do you think we need to? In what context?
💬 I would love to hear from you.
What does “permission to touch/hug” mean in your life?
Was there ever a moment when asking made all the difference?
I would love for you to read and reflect with me.
Look for The Commonground by Dr. Sara on Substack or look for the link in my bio.
#lovebydesignbook #thriving_relationships #thriving_parenting #relationshiparchitect #consentculture
Happy New Year !!!
Let’s truly design the loving relationships we desire in 2026!!!
To do my part to get you started I want you to drop “ love” below in the comments for a chance of winning a signed copy of my book in English ( well it has many translations so I had to clarify🥰).
If you are a winner, I’ll DM you by January 15 to get your mailing address so you can have my book Love by design: six ingredients to build a lifetime of love in time for Valentine’s Day❤️✨
#lovebydesignbook #giveaway #love #thrivingrelationships #valentinesday
✨As the new year begins, you might be thinking about being more authentic in your relationships.
I want to offer you something to sit with.
We often connect by sharing our pain, our losses, and the things that hurt us. That matters.
But sometimes relationships start to feel unsatisfying when there is only room for the past, and not enough room for who you are becoming.
Many people leave relationships, not only romantic ones, because they do not feel fully seen. Not just for what they have been through, but for who they are now and who they are growing into.
And sometimes, the reason you have not shared what you are proud of is not because you do not know it.
It is because you are not sure the people around you can hold it with care ( or deserve to know!) . That is important to notice, without judgment.
So let me ask you:
- Do you know what you are proud of in this season of your life?
- Who, if anyone, feels right to know that part of you?
- And do you offer that same care and interest to the people around you?
Here is a simple invitation for the next three months:
👥Once a month, share one thing you are proud of with someone who has earned your trust, and invite them to share the same.
I always love to hear from you in the comments, but you do not have to share here if you don’t want to 💕
if this resonates, you might want to save this, come back to it, or share it with someone who matters.
Relationships grow when we make space for the whole person, and when that space is mutual.
#lovebydesignbook #thrivingrelationships #newyear #love #trauma
Excepts from InBloom summit hosted by @realloveready ✨
If you feel disrespected in your relationships (intimate or otherwise) ask yourself if you are “respectable”. Here are some questions to help you bring clarity to your:
- do you know where/what your boundaries are?
— are you able to communicate your boundaries as invitations in a loving and firm away?
—- do you respect your own boundaries or you are the first person walking all over them?
Excerpts from my conversation with the lovely Raquel at the Mega Podcast.
#lovebydesignbook #love #relationships #thrivingrelationships #connection
It’s helpful to know that research offers clarity about what is healthy jealousy that I talked about in an earlier post (that is expected from a human when they care enough about an object/human) and unhealthy jealousy (when this feeling gets out of hand and impacts everyone in that relational dynamic negatively).
Take a minute and think about the difference and take action if you think they’re jealous of your ex experiencing hi there from somebody or for somebody in your life is unhealthy.
you can read my full article on Substack. Link is in my bio or look for “ the common ground by Dr. Sara”
Save, share, discuss with your partners, family members and beyond 🙌🏼
#lovebydesignbook #thrivingrelationships #love #relationships #emergentlovemodel #relationships #thecommonground #dr.saranasserzadeh #jealousy
Jealousy can be mobilizing or paralyzing …Can you distinguish between “ good jealousy” and “bad jealousy?”. How do you define them in your words?
To read my take on it just look for “The Common Ground by Dr. Sara” on substack (the link is in my bio and your access is free).
Let me know what you think 💕
#substack #thecommongroundbydrsara #thrivingrelationships #emergentlovemodel #lovebydesignbook #jealousy #love #couples #connection #drsaranasserzadeh #relational #friendship
It was lovely to be in conversation with the great @alixfox to contribute to @balanceldn holiday issue✨
Read on through the link in my bio👓look for Sexpectations!
#Holidays #thriving_relationships #lovebydesignbook #dr.saranasserzadeh #intimacy #couples #balance
Voices of Trust and Impact
