Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
Creating World Peace | One Relationship at a Time
Author, Speaker, Thinking Partner
I am fascinated by the way connections work. I am most passionate about exploring how they lead to meaningful and fulfilling relationships, the way they help us grow, how they contribute to our awareness of self and others, and how all of these could be seen similarly and differently across relationships, cultures and organizations.
Love by Design | 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love
True love should give your heart a break, not a heartbreak!
Recipient of the 2025 Clark Vincent Award from the California Association for Marriage and Family Therapists for significant advances in the field of relational science.
As I am sure you know, the quality of our relationships profoundly shapes the quality of our lives. How we navigate one relationship often reflects how we approach all relationships. Yet, unlike financial or career planning—where clear strategies guide our decisions—we often leave love to chance and luck. But we don’t have to.
In my research and practice for over 2 decades across 41 countries, I’ve identified 8 common relational configurations that reveal how couples connect, and I’ve developed a groundbreaking model of love called the Emergent Love Model. This framework is built on 6 essential ingredients for thriving and lasting relationships: mutual attraction, trust, compassion, respect, shared vision, and loving behavior. These aren’t just buzzwords; they’re actionable, research-driven elements that form the foundation of lasting, fulfilling connections.
Ready to design the loving relationship you desire and deserve? Get your copy of Love by Design today, wherever you buy your books, Kindles, and audiobooks around the world!
Capture a Panoramic View of Your Relationship
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- You and your partner take the test.
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Join the Community
Subscribe to The Common Ground, my monthly newsletter on Substack, where I share expert insights on building thriving relationships, from the bedroom to the boardroom.
Learn exactly where to invest your resources—Time, Energy, Attention and Money—to create the fulfilling connections you desire and deserve.
Plus, you’ll receive exclusive bonus content and be the first to hear about upcoming events and special offers!
So many couples think something is “wrong” when their sleep needs differ. In reality, better rest often leads to more warmth and less resentment.
Thank you @iankernerlmft for inviting me to unpack this tender intersection of sleep, sex and connection. ✨
#lovebydesignbook #sleep #thriving relationships @cnn #couples #love #emergentlove
Did this just happen?!
TED talks have been a part of my life and growth for decades now, so when I was invited to give a talk I fell truly honored and also responsible to deliver something worthy for you all.
I was thinking of everyone who’s been a part of my community until this moment and wanted to share as much as possible to make you a part of this incredible experience. I hope you like this clip that I’ve put together just for you!
I look forward to sharing the actual talk with you ✨
#TEDNext #lovebydesignbook #thrivingrelationships #love #humanity #community #gratitude #ted @ted 🫶🏻
Photos credit: Erin Lubin and Ryan Lash/ TED ✨
Family estrangements are among the quietest heartbreaks we carry. They often stem from layers of misunderstanding, unmet expectations, emotional neglect, boundary violations, or values that have grown apart.
If you’re considering reconciliation, pause to ask yourself:
🌿 What has truly changed within me, within them, or in our circumstances?
🌿 Am I ready and clear about my boundaries as invitations? Can I communicate them lovingly and firmly?
🌿 What kind of relationship feels possible now, not the one I wish existed?
Not everyone can hold the same place in the garden of your life. You can design that garden with intention, inviting some closer to your roots, allowing others to grow in separate corners, and still nurturing beauty across the distance.
In this segmented world, my first preference is to bring people together but also know that healing does not always mean reunion. Sometimes it means peace, space, and choosing love from afar ❤️
#relationships #family #boundaries #healing #reconciliation #emotionalhealth #thecommonground #relationalwellness
#love #lovebydesignbook #thrivingrelationships #holidays
Is the community around you by design or by chance?
This month in my newsletter (the common ground by Dr. Sara - on Substack), I am sharing an exercise that I give to all of my clients before the start of every new year. I hope you find it useful too 🙌🏼
The people around us shape the story we live , don’t take it lightly💗🙌🏼
The link for the Common Ground is in my bio or you can look up the common ground by Dr. Sara on Substack. Let me know what resonates💕
#substack #thecommonground #socialcapital #newyear
As the year ends, many feel the pressure to forgive and forget.
But real forgiveness isn’t about pretending nothing happened it’s about asking,
“Is this still serving me to hold on to this hurt, anger, sadness, etc.?”
Sometimes keeping distance or redefining boundaries is forgiveness in motion, a way of saying, I’ve learned where it hurts, and I choose peace over proximity.
Other times, holding on to pain only perpetuates the echo of the original wound.
True forgiveness softens the sound,
not by erasing the memory, but by tuning it to wisdom.
✨As you move into a new year, take the first step and think what in your life feels like protection and what feels like a weight?
#Relationship #EmotionalHealing #emergentlove #LoveByDesignbook #YearEndReflection #forgiveness
What an energizing community! Thank you @ted for brining us all together and for the humbling opportunity to share the 6 ingredients for thriving relationships with the TED community & beyond.
I am just going home today so it will take me a minute to post more on this incredible event More to come!!! Including my TED Talk🙌🏼💕 I just wanted to give you a flavor of what I’ve experienced because you were all with me in spirit💕
#lovebydesignbook #love #community #thrivingrelationships
@sabooli_wind ✨@bryonycole ✨@dearfranny ✨@tilscience ✨@davidlarbi ✨@marypoffenroth
Not all attraction strikes like lightning.
Sometimes it unfolds quietly through repeated presence, shared context, familiar eyes, smiles & tone of voice…(something that is used in marketing quite a bit actually!)
Psychologists call it the mere exposure effect: the more we see someone in a positive light and associate them with positive feelings, the more chances that we like them and our trust deepens for them.
💛 Have you ever felt your interest deepen simply because someone kept showing up?
#PsychologyOfLove #relationship #love #lovebydesignbook #emergentlovemodel #emergentlove #attraction
Trust is not made or broken with grand gestures.
It is created by little acts of showing up for one another consistently and reliably and it’s broken with little every day let downs.
What does it mean to be trustworthy? Comment below with your insights. I would love to hear your thoughts 👇🏻
Is there someone that you wish to see this right now? Someone that has your trust? Someone that you wish to trust again? Feel free to share this post with them and make it a point of conversation to deepen your relationship🙌🏼🫶🏻
#trust #love #lovebydesignbook #couples #friendship #selfawareness #trusting #partners #thrivingrelationships #drsaranasserzadeh
Voices of Trust and Impact
