Enhancing Couples’ Sexuality

Enhancing Couples’ Sexuality Good sex cannot save a bad relationship, but bad sex can break a good relationship! Dr. McCarty is joining me from North Carolina today to bring us wisdom on the power dynamic of couples as it relates to sexual desire across life span and very practical and solid tools as how to manage them and even solve them. Erotic voice, responsive desire, why is sex more interactive and human over time. How to honor your sexuality while age. Introducing pleasure and relationships after losing a partner, good sex cannot save a bad relationship, but bad sex can break a good relationship, various forms and shapes of pleasure… Read More

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Moving from Racial Literacy to Becoming an Antiracist

Moving from Racial Literacy to Becoming an Antiracist- Bonus Episode In this dialogue I had the pleasure to have an insightful dialogue with my dear colleague and mentor Dr. Kenneth Hardy. Dr. Hardy is one of the most original voices in the discourse around racial identity and family therapy. We touch upon three main topics: 1) multiple identities, intersectionality of these identities and the context in which they exist, being perceived and received with a practical model to get to know these selves and how they inform our way of being in our everyday lives. 2) the notion of reality and how it could be different based on our privileged… Read More

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The Art and Science of Self-Care

The Art and Science of Self-Care Today I am in dialogue with my dear friend and colleague Dr. Emily Nagoski. This episode is different than any other. I honestly didn’t know how to introduce it rather than extend a heartfelt invitation to you all to listen to her and listen well. Emily takes us on a meaningful, inspiring, personal and powerful journey from struggles with moments of darkness to joy and pleasure. Emily is a world-renowned expert in women’s wellbeing and sexual health. She is a New York Times bestselling author and has multiple popular TED Talks to her credit. She says I am a writer, educator, researcher, activist and… Read More

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Debunking Desire

Debunking Desire In this dialogue I am in conversation with my dear colleague Dr. Lori Brotto from Vancouver, Canada to debunk myths around sexual desire. Lori has a unique position as a researcher and a clinician to translate scientific data into practical tools and tips for everyone to benefit from. She is a master expert in the science of KT (Knowledge Transition). She is the Director of the Sexual Health Laboratory at the university of British Columbia and chairs the Canada research in women’s sexual health. In our conversation Lori will bring us pearls of wisdom from her book, Better sex through mindfulness and her new campaign DebunkDesire.com. We will… Read More

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Arranged Marriages American Style

Arranged Marriages, American Style! In this dialogue, my inspiring friend and respected colleague, the New York Times Best Selling author, professor Pepper Schwartz joins me from Seattle. I share what I learned from our dyadic validation study for Relationship Panoramic Inventory and she generously shares her top learnings as one of the three relationship experts on the Married at First Sight TV show, which is a series on Lifetime about arranged marriages. The show focuses on bringing compatible couples together, get them legally married and help them figure out the rest after.   It is on its 11th season in America and is aired in 26 other countries. As a sociologist at the… Read More

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Education Redefined

Education Redefined In this dialogue, John Doran the author of “A way to wellbeing” joins me from Ireland to discuss education during and post pandemic. John offers an optimistic view by inviting us to embrace adverse events. He says: “what you meet and greet will defeat and what you resist tends to persist”. He talks about the meaning of education and what young people need to thrive in the future that is yet to be created. He invites us to compare ourselves with ourselves yesterday, not another person. He highlights that selfcare of parents is critical not selfish and advises us on finding the right school fit for our children… Read More

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Cyber Infidelity

Cyber Infidelity In this dialogue, Marlene joins me from Cape Town, South Africa as we discuss Cyber Infidelity and her experience of navigating dilemmas that have occurred in working with the controversial dating site, Ashley Madison.  Marlene is a clinical sexologist with four published books as well as an accredited Ted Talk to her credit. Marlene shares insights from her research, differences she’s identified between in-person and cyber infidelity, why she felt she needed different tools to work with couples with this experience rather than others, the underlying motivation behind an affair, the pain of the experience, and possible ways to recover and heal.  Relationships are complex dynamics and every… Read More

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Hope Focus

Hope Focus In this dialogue Sebastian and I have a transparent conversation about making connections through preserving human dignity and seeing people for all that they are and not what they are expected to be portrayed as. Sebastian was dyslexic as a child and now is a world-renowned photographer who focuses on capturing some of the most sensitive, inspiring and heart-wrenching moments in our current history. He has a powerful message for those who do not fit into the boxes provided to them. Sebastian’s photos capture hopes and sorrows all in one shot. He is based in Cyprus but was in lockdown in Devon, England at the time of this interview.… Read More

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Black Sexuality & Your Relationship with Your Skin

Black Sexuality & Your Relationship with Your Skin In this  dialogue  James and I speak about our relationship with our skin. Skin is what we hold the closest to us and for some of us it becomes the most confusing and conflict-ridden relationship. The most recent racially charged brutalities happened after the recording of this episode however since the systemic oppression towards the people of color and minorities is not a new concept, there are pearls of wisdom that could be taken away from our conversation to sooth pains and give us a vision for the future. James is a Professor and Chair of the Counseling and Human Services Master… Read More

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Being Transformed and Transferred through Technology

Being Transformed & Transferred through Technology In this dialogue, Gaymon and I examine the question of how technology is shaping our identities and the way we relate its use to life, ourselves, and others around us. We talk about the importance of ‘space and place’ to make us grounded, and the power of imagination which can help us see what is possible in relation to moving us forward.  Dr. Bennett’s work is a cross-sectional approach using technology, science, religion, and history; concepts that don’t necessarily come together in most settings and often are considered as contradictory to one another. In his book “Technicians of Human Dignity”, he examines the figure… Read More

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Sex Sleep and Coupledom

Sex, Sleep and Coupledom In this dialogue Dr. Blair and I talk about relationships with sleep and discuss how feelings about bedrooms, beds, and bed-partners can impact the quality of sleep. In our society, there is a stigma against couples that sleep in separate beds. The term ‘sleep divorce’ is a socialized term that stigmatizes the practice of sleeping independent of one’s partner. Contrary to popular opinion, most research shows that having a bed-partner can impact sleep quality. Some argue that it does have the potential to lead to a calmer state of mind and body; so you might fall asleep in a relaxed state. However it can also lead… Read More

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Surviving Harvey Weinstein

Surviving Harvey Weinstein In today’s Little Black Fish episode, I engage in a dialogue with Rowena Chiu who was one of the critical figures who came forward, and vocalized her experience with Harvey Weinstein’s sex scandal. In this intimate and sensitive conversation, Rowena talks about her private experience of the abuse, the stages of emotions that followed, and how she rechanneled aspects of her experience to become an advocate for those who have endured sexual abuse. As a result of her experience she has become the voice of many, and proceeded to advocate for those who go unheard. We talk about the outcomes that arise from being a voice in… Read More

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Wellbeing and the Ethical Sellout

Wellbeing and the Ethical Sellout In this two-part discussion, Dr. Hansen and I talk about shifts in mental health approaches and offer suggestions to help reframe the subtle yet strategic outcomes. In the beginning portion of our discussion, Dr. Hansen wears her hat as the director of the Stanford’s Well-being Initiative and speaks on her perspective of the ‘pillars of well-being’. She elaborates on her experience by introducing 8 main pillars of wellbeing that focus to offer an approach of holistic care to students and staff. These pillars include, Eat, Connect, Sex, Sleep, Money, Feel, Seek, and Move. As times have changed, so have mental health tactics. When it comes… Read More

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Drinking in Lockdown and Beyond

Drinking in Lockdown and Beyond Alcohol has a long known history of serving the way we celebrate, cope, and socialize across many societies. Some individuals have a rather healthy relationship with it, some are struggling to keep the balance, and some are neutral. Alcohol consumption lowers one’s mood and inhibitions, and has three major impacts on one’s personal life; these impacts being physiological, relational, and social. Given the current pandemic, many people turn to alcohol for different reasons which we will discuss in this dialogue. People in recovery are struggling, and partners and parents are concerned. They want to know if their loved ones are developing a dependency on alcohol,… Read More

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Sex and the lockdown

Sex and the Lockdown with Doortje Braeken Doortje and I speak about the meaning and role of sex in times of high anxiety and despair. She encourages us to be more compassionate, towards ourselves and others and reminds us that sex is not a luxury and is not just about orgasms but a range of physical touch that could bring one joy.  Especially in times like these, we are driven to consider basic needs of feeling safe, loved, and achieving agency over our bodies and lives. Some look at sex as a way to be reminded that they are alive, they can still find pleasure in life, and create comfort… Read More

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